For a little while now, I’ve felt quite… stagnant. I think stagnating might be the correct way to describe this feeling, but it could also be related to feeling uninspired, unmotivated, lost, unchallenged.
When I really deep this feeling of stagnating, I think it all comes down to feeling too comfortable, too content, or too – dare I say – bored.
I’ve been waiting for a penny to drop, or to have a light bulb moment, or even a sign to come floating my way to show me what my next move is going to be.
I know I’ve written blog posts about this before – always craving the next thing, never being content with where I am – but I’m at that point in my life again where I need something new, and something to change.
Feeling too comfortable
You might be wondering, what’s wrong with feeling too comfortable? Isn’t that a good sign that you’re happy and enjoying the way life is?
Yes and no.
Being comfortable is all well and good, but we all know that nothing exciting happens in our comfort zones and we definitely don’t grow when we’re in our comfort zones either.
I seem to go through this emotion once every year or few years it seems where I’m ready for things to change, to have a new routine, a new environment and to put myself in a position I’m not familiar with.
If I look at my life currently, I’m in the same apartment now for two years. I’ve never lived in one city for longer than two years and never the same apartment for more than 12 months. But don’t get me wrong, I love the area that I live in and I love my apartment. However, we all know that I have no major love for London.
Job-wise, this is the longest I’ve ever been at the same job. Previously that was due to one being a placement year position, then an internship in New York City, but the two jobs I had post-New York only had me for six months before I moved on.
With my current job, I’ve been there for a year and a half now. And whilst I absolutely love and adore my job (I’ve even come back to the company after my placement year there back in 2016), part of me watches people leave for new jobs and think, Should I be doing that too? Am I missing out on a better job, better pay, or a new career route by sticking here?
Craving something new
So what can I do to change something major in my life to fulfil that need of challenging myself? Do I want to move somewhere new? Ideally, yes. Do I want to look for a new job? Ideally, no. But I can’t take my job with me and I’m not a remote worker.
Now you see my dilemma. Something in me is not being fulfilled and it’s creating this sense of stagnation in every other part of my life.
Once I adapt to somewhere and know it well, I feel like it’s time to move on. I want to feel challenged, I want to go somewhere where I don’t speak the language, where I don’t know the public transport system, where I have to struggle to find my feet and build a life for myself.
London has been the city I live in for two years now (not somewhere I can call home), and I think that’s about as much time as I want to give to the city for now. I’ve lived here for a total of three years, including my placement year when I lived outside of Wimbledon in South West London.
It’s strange to compare with Liverpool as I also lived there on and off for just over three years and have so much love and a big space in my heart for that city, its people and the memories I made there. But London? Not even close.
Will I always feel like I’m stagnating?
But what if this keeps happening? What if I move again and after a year or two, I get that same feeling and want to move on somewhere else?
I can’t live like this forever and I will most likely need to settle down at some point in my life. Part of me just feels to young to put roots down in London and live here for the rest of my life.
There’s so much life out there to experience, so many cities and countries to experience living in that London can’t be the end for me.
How can I feel like I’m growing again?
Since we both know that I won’t be moving anywhere tomorrow, what can I do to make myself feel not-so-stagnant (bored) anymore?
I guess the only thing there really is to do at this stage is to plan. Plan my way out of here and where it is I want to go next. Look at how I can make that happen, start planning like it will happen and know that I’m going to be moving on to something new very soon.
Any ideas where that could be?