Remember When You Wanted What You Currently Have?

Orlagh Claire New York

I remember seeing this quote on Kaelin Fox’s Instagram and it immediately struck a chord with me. I kept going back to the quote and re-reading it.

Just recently, I wrote one of my daily emails about the quote and how I’m trying to get back into that frame of mind. If you would like to sign up to my daily emails, you can do so here.

Anyway, since moving to New York and finding myself in this lockdown situation, things have been a little different. New York isn’t the same and my experience is no longer the same.

Related: New York, I’m Sorry

None of that can be helped, that I know, but I’ve found that I’ve recently become complacent with where I am. The me from this time last year just wouldn’t be having any of it, so I gave myself a stern talking to.

WHAT WOULD YOUR YOUNGER SELF SAY?

Never in a million years would my 16-year-old self imagine that in another six years’ time, at the age of 22, she would be living and working in New York City.

I had never even had the chance to travel to New York before moving here, but knew it was somewhere I had to be and had to live. It was on my list of five places I want to live in the future, a blog post that I wrote back in 2018.

I didn’t even imagine that I would be living in London at 20 years’ of age, never mind in New York just two years later. It’s crazy when I think about it, how caught-up I was in my life back in Lurgan when I was a teenager.

If only I could go back and tell my younger self, ‘The places you’ll go, the people you’ll meet, the opportunities you’ll get.’ I wish I could go back and give my younger self some more self-belief.

FEELING GRATEFUL

Even though I practice gratitude every day and think of three things that I’m grateful for every single morning, I often don’t appreciate most of the things that I have.

It was just last week that I was walking along the waterfront looking at the Manhattan skyline when I felt like turning back as it was quite windy.

This time last year, I would have given my right arm to be looking at that view, and here I was complaining of a little wind.

Related: Five Ways to Practice Gratitude

When I first moved here in September of last year, I would have probably crawled my way to the waterfront if I had to. I told myself that I need to remember what I had once wanted and to not be so complacent, just because I now had it.

WISHING IT AWAY

Obviously I couldn’t be more appreciative of the fact that I basically live in New York City and that I can hop on the PATH train at any moment and be there within five minutes.

But one thing that I always find myself doing is thinking of the future. In particular, where I’m moving to next. I enjoy hopping around from city to city and getting to experience living in different places. However, I just hope that I’m not wasting the time that I am here, by wishing that I was already somewhere else.

A city that didn’t make my list but one that I’m currently looking into is Dubai. I know it’s around 40 degrees there most of the time, but I’m prepared to spend all of my time in the shade or in air-conditioning.

If only for a year or maybe even two, I would love to be able to live in the desert and experience culture in the Middle East. Plus, it’s closer to Asia which would give me the opportunity to explore that side of the world.

When I don’t have a solid plan in place, I find myself worrying about it more and then constantly thinking of other places. If I knew 100% where I was going and what I was going to be doing, then I would be able to push it to the back of my mind and enjoy my last few remaining months in the place that I currently am.

REALITY CHECK

I don’t know what it is, but sometimes I find I just need a reality check and to realise where I am and how far I’ve come.

My life has changed dramatically since moving to England for university. It was probably the best decision I’ve ever made, and that first stepping stone of moving to a new city in a new country created a ripple effect of what was to come afterwards.

It just takes something so small to make me change my outlook and feel compelled to look back on the places that I’ve lived, the people that I’ve met and the memories that I’ve made and feel grateful.

Every place I lived was a step in the direction of New York and after my year here, New York will be another step in the direction of where I find myself next.

So yes, I’m still pinching myself that I live in this amazing city!

Orlagh Claire New York
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Orlagh

A recent graduate of Business with Public Relations from LJMU, Orlagh works in the influencer marketing industry and has just returned to the UK after spending one year working in New York City.

Find me on: Twitter | Instagram

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