Why You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

You Are Who You Surround Yourself With

It’s simple really. Take a look at the people you surround yourself with. This can include your family, your friends, the people you work with or your significant other.

What kind of people are they? If they’re close friends, then you probably have a lot in common with them which is why you get along so well. But are they people that are helping you succeed, or are they actually bringing you down and dragging you behind without you even realising it?

You can look at this from all angles. Think about you for a minute. What kind of person do you want to be? What goals do you have? How do you want to feel?

Related: How to Improve Your Mindset


They say that blood is thicker than water, right? But don’t take that too literally. Just because you share the same DNA doesn’t mean that you have any alliance or obligation to be like them or live the way they do.

For some people, family isn’t everything and they aren’t great influences on their lives. Thankfully my family are very encouraging with my traveling and moving around but there are parts of my life that differ very much.

If there are members of your family that are quite toxic or just drain you of energy, avoid being around them. It’s as simple as that. Don’t think that you have to please people or have a familial obligation to attend events that you know will make you feel worse afterwards.

You are very much free to live your own life and not to worry about what your family thinks or if they approve. Older generations tend to do things a lot differently and are quite set in their old ways. Live your life your way and check in from time to time if you would like to – but don’t feel like you need to.


There’s a quote that says, ‘Your friends are the family you pick yourself,’ and I couldn’t agree more. More than likely, your friends are the people you spend most of your time with (or in my case, talk to over the phone since you aren’t in the same country).

Most likely, your friends are people with common interests or are people with qualities that you wish you had yourself. Since realizing that we are who we surround ourselves with, I’ve noticed the traits and qualities in my friends that I like and the reasons why I’m friends with them in the first place.

If you surround yourself with friends that eat takeaways every night of the week, never work out and don’t care much for their health, then in all likelihoods you will live the same lifestyle.

If you surround yourself with friends that go to the gym every day, who are active, eat well and look after themselves, then it’s likely that you are very similar in that respect. If not, it’s likely that by surrounding yourself with those types of people, you’ll slowly be influenced to become like them.

Another saying that I like is, ‘If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room’. You’re never going to learn anything by being the smartest in the room, so try and surround yourself with smart people and open-minded people. I’m very much a person for stimulating conversation (but don’t mind chatting about Love Island too – it’s a balance) and it’s always good to talk to people that are smarter than yourself to learn something.


So take a look around you. Who do you currently surround yourself with and spend most of your time with? What impact do they have on you? Are they lifting you up or dragging you down?

Look at your family life. How can you improve your family relations or how can you get rid of any negativity they bring to your mental health?

Now look at your friends and love life. Are you inviting positive people? Positive experiences and a healthy lifestyle? If not, it’s time to get some new friends.

You are a combination of all of the people you surround yourself with. In order to be your best self, you’re going to need to surround yourself with good people.


I could go on and on about how important your mindset is, but I have a whole blog category to deal with that.

One thing that really effects your mindset, is your friends, family, work colleagues and everyone else you are in contact with on the regular.

Having anyone around you that brings you down or drains your energy is going to have a negative impact on your mindset and how you see your life and future.

This is why it’s extremely important to surround yourself with good people, honest people and people that motivate and inspire you to be your best self. You need people that will support you and clap when you’ve done something to be proud of and not make you feel bad for your achievements.

If some of what I’ve mentioned is starting to sound familiar, you will need to do some soul-searching to consider whether the people you surround yourself with are the same people you want to be around you in ten years’ time.

Who you surround yourself with is extremely important and makes you who you are.


A recent graduate of Business with Public Relations from LJMU, Orlagh works in the influencer marketing industry and has just returned to the UK after spending one year working in New York City.

Find me on: Twitter | Instagram

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