Maybe I’m a people pleaser, but I often feel very guilty for doing something that’s in my best interest but that I know will upset someone else.
When it comes to making big life decisions and moving to a new place, or leaving a job, or moving to a new city, you’re always going to upset someone in that process, even though it might be an insanely exciting thing for you.
You don’t want to not make a decision because that decision will upset other people and be an inconvenience to them.
People pleasing
When I moved to New York, it was an incredibly exciting opportunity for me. But I had to end the lease on my flat, I had to quit my job, say no to going back to the company I’m working for now, and say goodbye to my family and friends in Liverpool and at home in Ireland.
A large part of me felt guilty for leaving my job at short notice and knowing that they would have to go through the process of finding someone to fill my role, having to let down the team that wanted to hire me in London, and have to tell my landlord that he had to find a new tenant.
If I was a people-pleaser, I might have said ‘no’ to the opportunity in New York, so as not to let anyone down. But sometimes, you’ve got to put yourself first.
Putting yourself first
It’s important to remember that you’re the most important person in your own life. It might sound very vain, but it’s true. No one’s going to look out for you and your interests more than yourself.
Especially if you live in a big city, work in the corporate world and are making your way through the game of life. Sometimes you’ve got to put yourself first, step on toes and barge your way through to come out on top.
If you don’t, then other people will.
The ‘you only get one life’ mindset
A very key thing to remember is that you only have one life. Some might refer to this as ‘you only live once’ but we very much ruined that phrase back in 2010.
This is the only life you will ever have, so you should make the most of it and experience all that you can. Don’t say ‘no’ to things or put off doing things because it might upset someone or you might be scared of what other people might think.
Some people might think that you’re throwing your life away, or taking a huge risk career-wise if you decide to go travelling or change career while in a good position in a corporate company. But you only have one life, so you should live it as you please.
You’re only a number to them
When it comes to the working world, you need to remember that you are only a number to those at the top of the organisation.
No matter how much you love your small team or have a really strong bond with them, those at the top know you only as Employee 348290 and if you’re position is one they need to cut, they’ll send you a redundancy package in the post without a second thought.
So when an amazing job offer comes your way from a new company, or you want to strike out on your own, or you want to up and move to another country, you need to remember that you’re only a number to the company and that it will still keep going even if you’re not there. No matter how important you think you are to your department.
Do what’s best for you
To sum this all up, what I’m trying to say is, you need to do what’s best for you. Things like your home, your job and those around you can change at the drop of a hat.
If you want to change them and try something new, cut those ties and go. If it’s going to progress your career further, get you to your end goal, make you happier, or make you more fulfilled, then don’t stay in a situation that’s holding you back.
Stop worrying about how this will impact someone else if they could also up and leave at any point too. Do what’s best for you and put yourself first.
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